One Year Ago Today

July 3, 2015 at 4:39 pm (Breast Cancer, Faith)

Exactly one year ago today, I heard the words, you have invasive ductal breast cancer. I can’t believe how fast time went by yet also stood still. I vividly remember the side effects of chemotherapy and those days when I felt so sick I could barely call out God’s name. I remember the way my husband loved and served  me and laid down his life for me. I remember all the texts and emails and meals and teddy bears and blankets I received. I still have my cancer box that’s filled to the brim with cards and letters and other things. I have yet to be able to go through it because every time I try, I am overwhelmed at the love and support that was poured out on me and I can’t stop crying. One day soon, hopefully I will be able to go through it without falling apart.

As scary as it was to not know what the future held, I am grateful that I got cancer. I know I sound like a broken record, but I truly mean it. Cancer changed me in ways I would never have thought it would. It led me to a much deeper relationship with the Lord and it broke me of a pride so strong that it was downright ugly. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with pride and probably will until I depart from this life but it’s better than it was.

Cancer made me realize what’s important in life and what’s not. I let go of foolish things and replaced them with important things like better relationships with family and friends. I realized just how selfish I was and became a better wife. God opened up my eyes and gave me a more compassionate heart. He gave me a new ministry, that I get to share with my husband, to care for people who have cancer or are survivors or caregivers.

One year ago today was one of the best days of my life and I will never stop thanking God for it.

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