From Fighter to Survivor

January 15, 2015 at 1:58 pm (My ramblings) (, )

I’ve been in bed sick with a cold for the last 2 days and I had horrible flashbacks of the days after chemo. I forced myself to get up today and as I was getting into the shower, I looked at myself in the mirror. It’s strange, because it’s not like this was the first time I looked at my mastectomy scars. It just hit me that with these ugly scars, I went from being a fighter to a survivor. I cried my eyes out and realized for the first time just how much I have been through in the last 7 months since being diagnosed with invasive breast cancer. When you are in the fight of your life, you just go through the motions and try not to think about what’s going on. It took all my strength to wake up every day and be positive and choose to trust the Lord to get me though this. I think if I would’ve stopped and thought about what was happening to me, I’m not sure I would’ve been able to go on and that’s where you come in.

cancer boxI have a “cancer box” and I have saved all the cards and balloons and even flower petals in it. As I added another card to it today, the tears just came over me again. There are no words that could ever express my gratitude to everyone who prayed for me, brought me meals, sent me flowers, texted and emailed me, called me and even sent me video prayers all the way from my beloved Swaziland, Africa. My husband took such incredible care of me that my only concern during treatment was to focus on myself because he took care of everything else. My mom was there for me emotionally in ways that I never could have imagined. My relationship with God and all of you are why I am able to be here and write about this today. I’ve had to actually walk out my faith, not with words but with actions. I’ve always felt like I had a strong faith in God but until you walk through something that requires you act on that faith, you never know just how strong it is. From the depths of my soul I can say that God is real and He is good. All the time.

As my journey continues from fighter to survivor, I now face the reconstruction process and the rebuilding of my life back. Please continue to pray for me as it will be several more months and another surgery until the reconstruction is done. It’s painful and uncomfortable and I will spare you the details and at least the hardest part (chemo) is finished. I had a follow up with my specialist a few days ago and she told me all the pathology came back and I am CANCER FREE! Those words just hit me today and I realized that I am now a survivor.

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5 Comments

  1. Wendy said,

    Great post Rachel! I know God is using you in many lives, but He is definitely using you in mine. Hope you are feeling better soon! Steve and I continue to pray for you every day!! love you!

  2. janet148 said,

    Praying for this cold to fully CLEAR and hoping you got my response posted on the WordPress site. Love you and keep you in my thoughts sweet girl. Your Heavenly Father is proud of you !!!

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  3. susanjrodgers said,

    YAAAAY GOD!!!! CANCER FREE!!! May the Lord continue to sustain you through this healing process. May He give you JOY unspeakable. May He bless you for trusting Him and also for sharing your journey, highs and lows, so others can be comforted with the comfort you yourself have received. What a HUGE blessing to know you, to have you teaching us how to suffer well! You are a true HERO in the faith!! You are a Hebrews 11 woman for sure. Love you and will keep praying!

  4. Dave Newell said,

    Rachel,

    Your Post is very Inspirational!! Your Faith is Strong. I loved your quote – God is real, and He is Good, all the time. I will continue to pray for you. You have definitely become one of my Hero’s.

    Love,
    Dave Newell

  5. Chichi said,

    Glory be to the God our father, the creator of heaven and earth. He is good beyond imagination. I praise Him today for you and for me and for all his mercy. Thank you Jesus!

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