September 5, 2014 at 9:07 am (Breast Cancer)

I had planned on writing all through my breast cancer journey but haven’t been able too while going through chemotherapy. For the first week and half after treatment, I am unable to read because one of the side effects is blurred vision. It’s a little freaky and I dislike it because I can’t even drive the Pink Ninja!

It has been a roller coaster ride since I got diagnosed in June. I completed my third round of chemo last week and am halfway there! (Hopefully!) I had an ultrasound to measure the tumor last week and was disappointed that it hadn’t shrunk at all. The bizarre thing is upon palpation, you can feel that it has shrunk quite a bit. My specialist was concerned as well but also confused so she wants me to get another MRI. I am going on Monday to have that done then she’ll go over the results with my oncologist and may change my chemo cocktail. The plan was to do 6 rounds of chemo, then one year of a specific drug then discuss the type of surgery I will need then radiation, depending on the surgery. I hope and pray that they don’t extend chemo because I’ll pull my hair out. Oh, wait a minute, I don’t have any! Side note, the good side effect of chemo, is I don’t have to shave my legs or worry about my mustache anymore, the bad news, obviously, I’m bald!

One of the other side effects I have been having a difficult time with is acid reflux. I’ve only had it a few times in my life and had no idea how miserable it is. I have been on 5 different medicines which have not worked at all. A few days ago, I went to my primary doctor who gave me 2 new ones to try and I have to see a gastroenterologist next week.  The acid is burning my throat so badly that eating and drinking fluids has been hard so I’ve gotten dehydrated a couple times and had to go to my cancer center to get an iv bags of fluids. It’s amazing how much better I feel with a bag of juice. Hopefully, the specialist can help me and my throat won’t be on fire all the time anymore!

One again, I have to give a shout out first and foremost to my amazing husband. I like the fact that God knew exactly what I would be going through and brought this godly man in my life to help me, encourage me, love me, and just be amazing to me. I honestly don’t think I would’ve made it through this far without him. His love for me and the way he continually lays down his life for me truly astounds me. His love and faith in Christ is his foundation and I find incredible security in that.

My faith is sustaining me as well and I know I’m repeating myself, but I can’t imagine going through this without knowing God. There are times when I feel so sick that all I can do is cry out to God to help me. Even at my worst, I feel Him in such an intimate way and there’s a closeness I feel that I have never felt before. Yesterday, I was thinking of the second part of  Zephaniah 3;17 where it says, “He will take great delight in you and rejoice over you with singing.”  As I lay in my bed, I imagine the Lord God, Creator of the Universe, rubbing my back and singing softly over me and there are no words to describe the feelings in my heart.  To know that this great big God comes to my rescue when I call and is near me at all times is so reassuring. It also reminds me that all things work for the good for those who love him and that He is my Rock and my Redeemer.

I have to once again thank my dear friends for all the prayers, texts, emails, cards and meals. I know I haven’t responded back to each of you and I apologize.  Please continue to pray as I have a lot of upcoming doctor appointments next week. Also, please continue to pray for Ken. Once again, thank you so much for being on this journey with me.





  1. Wendy said,

    So encouraged by you dear Rachel!! Thank you for sharing, it makes my faith stronger to read of how God is helping you through this. We continue to pray for you and Ken everyday and won’t stop!! Love you!

  2. kristin said,

    Love you and your life!! You are such an encouragement, but I hate that you are going through this!! Love you loads!!

  3. Annie Z. said,

    You are a Titan, Rachel, beautiful, strong and courageous in Christ Jesus. I may be partial as you’re my brother and sister, but I am so proud of you and Kenny! Prayers being lifted for you both.

  4. Mary Beth said,

    I read the book of Job with Banzai and he was very interested in discussing the viewpoint of Job, who suffered so horribly and yet maintained his faith. Job prevailed with even greater blessings at the end with God’s grace. Ryan was fascinated that Job didn’t get to know the “why.”

    I don’t know why you are in this war, Rach. I know that you are strong, and have great faith. I will continue to pray with my little angel that you can find peace (even in moments) in the midst of the battle, knowing that God is ultimately in control.

    I love you. MB

  5. Nancy Greenwold said,

    Thank you for sharing your journey. It isn’t easy, and we need to know the realism of it all and have it sugar coated. But, it is so good to realize that God is with us in the midst of it all, and is our strength.

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