My almost 10 year anniversary

June 14, 2011 at 8:51 am (My ramblings)

I can’t believe that one  month from today, I will have been sober for 10 years! 10 years! That is such a miracle because I shouldn’t even be alive. July 14, 2001 is a day I will never, ever forget because I not only got sober that day, I gave my life to the Lord and became a Christian. I woke up sick, hungover, lying in vomit and I went to bed a new creation in Christ. I was alone, no one guided in a prayer or anything. God spoke to me, not audibly but to my heart. I can’t describe it, it was like I just knew He was there in my room with me.  I could feel His presence and I didn’t understand it. I didn’t need to. I just said, “ok God, if you are really who you say You are, then you are going to have to show me”. I was so sick of being hungover all the time and struggling with depression and shame about how I was living my life.

I had no idea that I would come to love Christ and understand the depth of His love, His kindness and His absolute forgiveness for me. I don’t live in condemnation or shame or guilt anymore. I walk with my head held high, clothed in His righteousness. I remember the first 2 verses I memorized, 1 John 1:9,If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” and Romans 5:8,But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”.  To know that all my sins, my past, my everything was forgiven was mind boggling to me but to know that God died for me while I was doing all these horrible things? That was powerful. He didn’t die for me while I was sitting in a church pew singing hymns. He died for me while I was committing horrible sins against Him, while I was trying to kill the very life He gave me. And why? Because He loves me. That’s it. He simply loves and adores me. He has shown me His loving kindness and there is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful for that day that He made Himself known to me. Thank you Lord Jesus!

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