I really miss blogging and so many of my friends have challenged me to start again so here goes…

I started a new Bible study on the book of James written by Warren Wiersbe. This morning I read through verses 1-12 in chapter 1 and a few things really stuck out to me. I think many of us are familiar with the beginning verses that challenge us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds. We quote it all the time and we especially love to “encourage” other people in this when they are struggling with their faith.  What really got my attention were verses 5-8. The NIV says, ^5″If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ⁶But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

Verse 5 tells us that when we ask God for wisdom, He gives it to us generously and without finding fault. That is an incredible statement made by the Creator of the universe.  He is not just eeking out little bits of wisdom randomly, He is giving it to us GENEROUSLY! But this is the part that got me. Verse 6 says if we doubt Him, we are just like the waves of the sea that gets tossed by the wind. Think of a very strong wind blowing around a small boat in the sea. The boat has no choice where it goes, it basically goes where the wind blows it. I don’t know about you, but there is no way I am going to let my faith be dictated by the wind no matter what I may be feeling or what my cirmucstances or struggles may be.  I have to make a choice to believe that God is good and His Word is true or I will be like the boat. It doesn’t stop there but continues to say in verse 7 that if we doubt, we may as well not even think we will receive anything from the Lord and verse 8 says we are double minded and unstable. I don’t know about you but I want to believe that if I ask God for wisdom, He is going to give it to me generously and my prayer is that I don’t doubt Him because I surely do not want to be remembered as a woman who was double minded and unstable.  I want to be known as a woman who fears the Lord and has the kind of faith that moves mountains. I think it dishonors God when we doubt Him and it also places the emphasis on us and not on Him. I love how Ephesians 3:20-21 puts it, ^20″Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!”

I can’t believe that I have been married for 5 1/2 months!! It’s going great and I love being married to Ken. We just added a little puppy to our family and we love her very much. She is a Shipoo (half Shih Tzu and half toy poodle) and she is adorable. Her name is Kiku, which means chrysanthemum in Japanese. She is now 14 weeks old and we have had her for a month. She is very smart and learns quickly as she already knows many commands. She is also a little like me (says my wonderful husband) in that she can be feisty and energetic

She has been a blessing to me and I have so missed having a dog. We also have a 10 year old Golden Retriever who loves her too. They play so well together in the backyard and it’s cute to watch. Boomer (the golden) is such a calm dog and has good energy (got that from Cesar Millan!) and he is a very good influence on her. They chew on sticks together and it’s funny to watch them steal from each other.

My awesome husband keeps bringing her home toys and last week brought her home an inflatable pool. She gets hot quick because of her hair. She loves to put her paws in the water bowl! She absolutely loves being wet and loves playing in her pool. Our Golden (who is supposed to love water) won’t go near it!

Here a few pictures and video.

This question and others similar to it have been boggling the minds of Christians for what seems like an eternity.  We feel like God can use everyone else but not us because of what we’ve done or not done.  We think things like, “how could I possibly minister to anyone or help them out when I am struggling with so many issues?” How can the Lord use someone like me when I keep falling into the same sins again and again?  How can I share the Gospel with anyone since they know what my issues are?” These questions and many others have plagued Christians long enough. I myself used to struggle with this until I really grasped the grace of God by reading and studying the Bible.  There are so many messed up people in the Bible, it’s like reading a soap opera.  So many of our “heroes” of the Bible committed horrible sins and failed many times yet these are the very people that God used.  

So much has been written about the failings of David, Moses, Sampson, so many of them I won’t take the time to list, but what about the people God does use? He chose a young virgin to carry the Messiah. How incredible is that? A young girl who was never heard of, had no real significance that we know of, yet she gets to carry the Christ-child?  What about the announcement of Jesus coming into the world? A host of angels appeared to some shepherds out in a field to make the most important announcement in the world and the Lord chose to do this to some lowly shepherds.  I myselflove Rahab. She is definitely a bad girl gone good.  (very much like me)  She was a prostitute yet God spared her family.  When Joshua sent spies to check out the Promised Land, they went to her and she hid them. She told them that she had heard what God did for the Israelites (led them out Egypt) and she asked them to spare her family when the Israelites would come in and kill all the ickyites (that’s my nickname for the Hittites, Canaanites, Jebusites, etc).  They told her to put a scarlet robe out of her window and by doing that, they would not go into her house and annihilate her family.  Sound familiar? A acarlet robe, why not green or purple or blue? Don’t miss the significance of the color red.  The very same color was painted on the doorposts to spare the Israelites from the death angel. Imagine that! The same blood that saved the Israelites, God’s chosen people, would also be the same blood that would save a prostitute and her family. Rahab ended up living with the Israelites.  How amazing that God would use her when the world would think she was unusable.

I talk to so many people who are walking around in condemnation and it is so easy for us to get down on ourselves and think that God can’t use us.  The truth is God wants to use us. He needs to use us.  We have so much to offer but the enemy tries to pursuade us in thinking that we don’t.  I am a recovering addict and alcoholic amongst many other things.  I am proof of the grace of God.  God is using my horrible past and sins and failures to bring glory to Himself.  Who better to help an addict or alcoholic than me?  Yet, if I felt shame about my past or didn’t understand grace, I could very well keep it all a secret and in doing that, end up not sharing the hope we have in Christ.  If God can use a prostitute like Rahab or a drunk like me, than there is no doubt in my mind that He can use anyone. We have to remember that God has a plan for our lives and if our focus is on Him and His grace and mercy and not on our failures or shortcomings, then and only then can He use us.  I pray that we would walk around in God’s grace, knowing and being 100% convinced of His absolutely crazy love for us because that’s when we will realize that no matter how we feel or what we are going through, we are here to further His kingdom and bring Him glory.  Today, I pray that we walk in the grace of God knowing that He can and will use us.

I can’t believe I have been married for 4 weeks already! I love being Mrs. Ken Bowers! I still need to post pictures on here of the wedding but I am still waiting to get them back from the photographer. I have some that Ken’s daughter Jeanie took that I will post. I put them on my facebook already. The adjustment to being married is alot easier than I thought it would be. I thought that I would have a much harder time since I had lived on my own for most of my life but it hasn’t been hard at all. Ken and are very compatible and we both compromise so it is working out great. I love being home and not working because it has really allowed me to be a great wife and homemaker. 

I can’t wait to start writing regularly and I keep holding off because there is so much I want to go back to that has happened in the last year. I think I will just move forward from here because I miss blogging.

Well, here are some wedding pictures. I know this was short, but at least I wrote something!

I can’t believe that in just 2 days I will be Mrs. Rachel Bowers! It seems like I have been waiting my whole life for this moment and now it’s almost here. This last year has been one of the most amazing years of my life. Other than 2001 when I gave my heart to the Lord, this has been the best. Who knew that when I left my former church and job, I would end up meeting my future husband? It astounds me sometimes when I think of the Lord working out His plan since the beginning of time. Everything that we go through and endure is of no surprise to Him. All the tears that we have cried, all the hurt we have felt, all the pain we have gone through. All of this working for our good and ultimately glorifying our Lord.

I don’t think the Lord could have brought together 2 people more suited for each other than Ken and me. Our spritual giftings, personalities and passions are so complimentary to each other that we have a really good balance. The Lord knew exactly what we needed in a spouse and because of His great love for us, gave us each other as a gift. One of the really neat things in our relationships is our ability to go with the flow and not sweat the small stuff. We have both had our share of suffering and we realize what’s important. One of the marriage pastors at my old church gave me the best advice and I say it over and over again because it’s really important. In regards to conflicts, he said, “do you want to be right or do you want the relationship to be right?” I think that our pride can so easily get the best of us and we always want to be right. I want to be a great wife and I hope and pray that I don’t put my pride above loving and honoring my husband.

This week has been a week of last minute running around and putting the final touches on wedding stuff. I don’t know how women can work fulltime, plan a wedding, clean their fiances house, clean and pack their own house, plan the move and then look pretty and rested on their wedding day!  Ken has blessed me more than words can say to let me “retire” and stay at home. I feel like I have been even busier with all the wedding stuff and moving than when I was working! I am looking forward to coming back from the honeymoon and falling into a regular routine. I really miss writing and one of my goals is to blog everyday like I used to, write a devotional book and finish my theology degree, which is just 4 and 1/2 classes away! And of course, serve my man! 2 days away…

I can’t believe that in just 2 days, I will be retired. It seems like I have been working my whole life and getting up between 4 and 5 am forever! I hope that one day, I will actually be able to sleep in a little because even on weekends, I wake up most times before 7 am.

I have been training my replacement at work, a fabulous young lady named DJ and I know that she will do a great job. We have had less than 2 weeks to train but I think she’s got it! 2 more days to impart all my wisdom on her, no pressure!! The stinky part is I have to have another root canal this morning then go into work. Hopefully I will be able to talk because we have still have things to go over. Tomorrow afternoon, work is throwing Ken and I a BBQ shower, which will be fun. The theme of the party and gifts is BBQ and grilling and we love to grill and eat! This way, he gets some attention too although we all know who the wedding is about….(the BRIDE, which is me)

I still have so much wedding preparations to do so I am glad that I will have several weeks to focus on finishing everything. I started packing up my beloved books last week but that’s about as far as I got! Thankfully, I have been living a missionary style life and have very little furniture and  “stuff” to take with me. We were going to start painting the lower level in Ken’s house but I don’t think I want that added stress right now. We decided to wait until we get back from our honeymoon. Woohoo!! I love saying that, honeymoon! We are going on a Royal Carribbean cruise to Aruba, Curacao, St Thomas and St Maarten. I am so excited because I have never been on a cruise. I still need to shop and get some “cruise” clothes and a few little black dresses

2 days until retirement and 29 until I become my beloved’s bride!!! Thank you Lord!!!

Yesterday was the best Valentine’s Day I have ever had. It probably has something to do with knowing I am going to marry my best friend in 41 days! Anyways, I think that with most holidays, there is so much pressure to get the perfect gift or outdo everyone you know. I personally have always preferred to make homemade gifts, which is what I did for my man. One of his love languages is words of encouragement so I made a scroll for him with a really cool background with hearts.  I wrote down several words that describe him and ways that he loves me.  A few of them are leader, provider, protector, romancer, nurturer, etc and then I wrote up a short paragraph about how he accomplishes each one. He loved it. He also wrote for me 10 characteristics about me and wrote up a paragraph about each too. I can’t tell you how close it makes us feel when we do things like this and how it knits our hearts together. He did also get me a pajamagram (3 sets of pj’s) that were absolutely adorable. I can’t believe that next Valentine’s Day, we will be married!

I can’t post without talking wedding so here is a little update. I am so excited because I picked up my dress last week! It is so beautiful and I love seeing it hang in my closet. We got the invitations back from the printers and will be mailing them out this week. How fun! I chose my entrance song for when I walk down the aisle (it’s a secret) and I think it will be really cool. I am very non traditional so I can’t wait to see people’s faces when they hear it

I still have lots of small things to do but I am grateful that I have a man who loves me so much and is very protective over me and my soul. We decided that I would stop working so I resigned and have 2 more weeks left! I feel the stress in my life slowly fading away and I am ready to stay home and serve my man! I will have a whole month to work on wedding stuff until the wedding and am so glad. I have to pack and we are going to paint a few rooms in his house.  It seems like I have been waking up at 5 am since I was born and I am tired. 

It still amazes me every day that I wake up that the Lord would orchestrate our love story from the beginning of time. He has gone before us every step of the way and has guided us throughout our entire courtship. If you would have asked either of us a few years ago if we would have seen this coming, we both would have said absolutely not. Ken lost his wife to cancer after a long battle and was sad and broken hearted and I thought I was going to be a missionary in Africa and remain single. God had other plans and I am grateful that even through all the heartache, the Lord was working together EVERYTHING for our good. What a testimony our relationship is and will continue to be in the years to come. 41 more days until I become Mrs. Rachel Bowers!!!

I can’t believe that in 57 days I will be Mrs. Rachel Bowers! It seems like I have been waiting my whole life for Ken and in God’s goodness and mercy, He brought this incredible man into my life. 
7 1/2 years ago, I gave my life to Christ and haven’t looked back since. It was the best decision I have ever made and not only do I get to spend eternity with the Lord, I get to walk out my faith as a brand new creation in Christ. All things in my past are just that, in my past. I have been washed white as snow and have been made righteous not on my own merit, but because of the love, mercy and sacrifice of the One who gave His life up for me. To know that someone has taken all my guilt, shame, hurts, disappointments, sadness, loneliness, heartache and pain just because He loves me so much is astounding.  The Savior of the World, Creator of all things, ruler of everything, giving up everything for me. It blows my mind to know that before the Creation of the world, God chose me and knew that on March 27, 2009, I would be marrying Ken.  Ken and I have gone through our share of trials and suffering and to know that God had this planned all along is amazing.

I would never choose to live the life I lived before I met Christ. I made alot of mistakes and carried around so much guilt and shame and Christ has taken all that away from me. I am a new creation. I will walk down the aisle on my wedding day in a beautiful white gown because in Christ, I am a virgin. Since giving my life to Christ, I have kept myself pure and God has honored that.  He makes all things beautiful in His time. Ken and I have had such different pasts that it’s amazing that the Lord would bring us together. Ken was saved at a young age and although he didn’t have a perfect life, it was pretty good. He was married for 29 years to his high school sweetheart and the  last 10 years of her life, she fought and finally lost her battle with cancer. The last year of her life was filled with so much physical suffering, I know it had to be difficult to watch.  I can’t help but feel like she prayed specifically for me, which is an incredible sacrifice and must have been one of the most difficult of her prayers.  They had 3 of the most amazing kids and they are very close to each other. You can’t go through all that they did and not come out changed. They chose to love the Lord through all that and not become bitter or angry and their lives show the fruit of their faithfulness.  I am so blessed to be marrying into this incredible family and I am so looking foward to what the Lord will do. I am the luckiest girl in the world and am marrying God’s perfect man for me.

What an incredible year last year was! The Lord blessed me even more than the year before. It’s amazing to me that this same time last year, the Lord really impressed upon me that 2008 was going to be my year. I remember walking around work and church and saying to everyone I came in contact with, “This is going to be my year!” I may actually have bordered on the obnoxious! I had no idea what the Lord would do but I just knew without a doubt that it was going to be my best year since meeting the Lord.

Last year was a year of some hard decisions and I think the 3 most difficult ones were to not only resign my position on staff at my church but to also leave it and find a new one. I went back to Covenant Life (where I had attended for a few months in ‘02) and I just felt so at home, it was incredible. I am so grateful to the Lord and many people’s guidance who challenged me to go there.  It felt like I had been there my whole life. It was difficult to leave all my coworkers who were also my closest friends and my church all at one time. I realized that my friends will always be my friends no matter what church we may be at. We are all part of the Body of Christ, no matter where we worship.

In March last year, I started working at a Christian real estate company where I used to work prior to working for the church. I have a different position but it was great going back because I knew most of the people there. It was an easy transition and I am glad the Lord guided me. It’s also where I fell madly in love with my fiance, Ken. The Lord has gone before us every step of the way in our relationship and it is amazing to think that before the foundations of the world was laid, the Lord knew that He would bring us together!

The other really difficult decision I made was to not go back to Africa. I was supposed to go to Uganda in September and after much prayer and seeking counsel, I knew I needed to cancel it. I am a missions junkie and I absolutely love sharing the Gospel and have done missions just about every year since becoming a Christian but the older I get, the harder it is to bounce back afterwards! When I went to South Africa it took 18 hours on the airplane to come back and it almost killed me! It’s also just physically and emotionally hard.   

One of the prayers I have this year is to start blogging again on a regular basis. It may have to wait though until after the wedding which will be March 27. 76 days!!!! Yeah!!! I am working on our wedding website and will post a link to it soon.

I can’t believe Ken proposed!! I am usually very discerning but I was totally clueless! He is good! Anyways, here is the story of how he did it.

He ordered 12 Precious Moments statues and for the 12 days of Christmas, he changed the name to the 12 days of Rachel (what girl can resist that?!) So each day, I got a present. They were absolutely adorable and each one had a significant meaning. One of them was Belle from Beauty and the Beast and she is sitting on top a stack of books (I love to read) and Ken had them paint on it, (Dream BIG dreams) because those are 3 words that he always says to me. (well, that and I love you!) Another one is a little girl and in her hand is a tiny Tinkerbell and he gave that one to me because he thinks that sometimes I am on pixie dust. Just kidding, it’s cause I am so random and goofy and happy.  Another one is a little boy with his hands stretched out really far apart and Ken had them paint on it, I love Rachel.  Another one has a little girl and boy dancing together and Ken had them paint on it, It’s Your Love because that is one of our love songs. Isn’t he so romantic?!?!

So, on Christmas Eve, he came over and opened up my gifts to him then we went to Clyde’s for dinner (which is where he took me on our first date to let me know his intentions of wanting to court me) and I was glad that this time I wasn’t nervous so I could enjoy my crabcake! So after dinner, we go to his house and I noticed that there are no cars in the driveway which is kind of unusual because when we walked in the sunroom the fireplace was on. (I said to myself, oooooh Bill is in big trouble for leaving the fireplace on!) When Ken opened the door into the house, there were vases all over the floor with pink carnations in them and candles lit all over the place too. There was music playing and it was our love songs on a CD that the lovely Julie (his daughter) made for us. I still had no idea that he was going to propose but I was so overcome by his love for me that I cried for about 15-20 minutes while he held me. He thought I knew he was going to propose but I was clueless. I was so utterly overwhelmed because I have never been loved the way this incredible man loves me that I couldn’t even talk. He asked me a few times if I wanted to open my present and I shushed him!

Finally, I was able to stop crying and could breathe normally again and he handed me a box and told me that this one was a silly gift. I opened it and it was a little boy on his knees proposing to Snow White and Ken had them paint on it, Will You Marry me!!! I was so shocked that I just sat there and stared at it. He asked me if I read what was on it and asked me for the answer a few times! I was still in shock! The he brought out this little princess box and it had a ring in it and he told me it wasn’t real but it would have to do until we bought one! It was beautiful and it fits! Inside the box cover it read, A princess is sweet and charming too, a princess is special just like you.

Yesterday we went shopping and found the ring!!! The only bummer is it has to be sized so I don’t get it for a few days!

It is absolutely beautiful. I guess for now, I will be wearing my plastic one though! I am the luckiest girl in the world and I am so grateful to the Lord for so many things I can’t even begin to thank Him. He knew exactly what I needed in a man and exactly what Ken needed in a woman and I believe that He gave us to each other as a gift. It is so like God to work this miracle in both of our lives and we are so grateful to Him. Pray that our lives would always reflect the love of Christ.