Living My Faith Out Loud

I haven’t been writing much because I have been feeling terrible and so tired. I have been on 4 prescriptions since a week ago Friday and yesterday I thought I was going home to meet Jesus! I called my doctor who told me to go the ER so I spent almost the entire day there. But I was not upset because I made sure I had my Sudoku book with me! I also got to invite one nurse to my church and another one of my nurses attends it already!
They put me on a nebulizer and gave me breathing treatments because I couldn’t breathe very well. My lungs feel like they are going to explode. They gave me 2 more RX’s so today I am actually feeling a little better. Woohoo! The reason I have been so tired, besides being sick, is my blood work came back and I am seriously anemic and my protein was low. My numbers weren’t even near the minimums. I guess when my doctor did my physical last November and told me to take iron every day, I should have listened to her. I took it for about a month. I hate taking pills but I went and bought more so I will have one of my friends hold me accountable to take it every day.
I missed church last weekend, which stinks. I don’t think I will be able to go tomorrow either but I can watch it online.
Please pray for me to get well soon because I have to get a ton of shots before I go to Africa nad I need to be healthy. I am getting excited about it. I really feel like God is going to confirm my call to move there. I always wanted to have kids and I guess if I do live in or near an orphanage, I can have hundreds! I can’t wait!
Well, I need to do some Bible study now. The great thing about being flat on your back is you get lots of Daddy time. I have so enjoyed talking to Him lately. It has been a cool season in my life. I feel like for the last year or so, I am really learning what it means to have Him as my Father. I have finally been able to grasp how much He loves me and it blows me away. Little ol’ me and He just adores me and delights in me. What more could I possible want in life?

Psalm 73:25-26
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

It’s sad…but true. _ere I was just typing away, doing _omework and trying to become t_e woman God created me to be and my _ key got stuck. I tried to fix it by popping it off and guess w_at, t_ey don’t pop off! T_ey break off! I _ave watc_ed my nieces and nep_ews pop t_em off my brot_ers laptop many times! In retrospect, I guess I could _ave stopped t_em but t_ey really seemed to be enjoy popping t_em off!

I woke up this morning and like most mornings, I love to lay in bed and begin my day with thanking God. (Lest you think I am super spiritual, I am also waiting for my coffee to be brewed!) Anyways, I often think about how thankful I am that God loves me so much. I think we know it in our heads but do we really know it and believe it in our hearts? Do we really believe what it says in Zephaniah 3:17, the Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love and He will rejoice over with you with singing. Can you imagine that? Hallelujah! God loves me and you so much that He is singing over us!
I have been spending some time in Ephesians lately and I get so excited when I read this:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.”

I am blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed and forgiven! Does life get any better than that? Me, the worst of sinners like my buddy Paul, who da thunk it? Who knew that in my most difficult struggles, when I didn’t know Christ, that He had already chosen me? Who knew that when I was trying so hard to kill the very life He formed that I would one day bow my knee to Him who sits on the throne? Who knew that when I drove off the side of a 15 foot cliff because I was too drunk to drive that I would walk away with not one scratch on me? Who knew that when I woke up in the ICU in the hospital on life support from an overdose that I would one day be holy and blameless? Who knew that I would travel to the nations and share the Gospel with any who would listen? Who knew that all along there was a Jesus shaped hole in my heart that only He could fill?
Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus is always the answer!

I can’t help but end this with Psalm 73:25-26
“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. “

You know your life is out of control when you don’t have time to blog! What a week it has been. I have been busy with school, Bible study group, work, life, preparing for Africa amongst many other things. (I wouldn’t have it any other way though!)
Anyways, as I have been sharing lately, I am praying radical prayers and believing God for them. I was reading Ephesians 3:20 this morning and pondering it. “Now to Him is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…” I know many of us quote this Scripture but I wonder how many of us really believe that God can do IMMEASURABLY MORE than we can ask or imagine. I don’t know about you but my imagination is running wild about now! I want to err on the side of faith! I want to err on the side of asking God for too much! I want God to look down on me and think, boy this one sure has some imagination! That prayer was a good one!
Hopefully you realize that I am certainly not talking about material things! I am talking about more of God, more of life in His abundance! I want everything He has for me and I am not going to quit asking until He gives it to me. Remember Jacob wrestling with God? He would not let go until God blessed Him. I am hanging on for dear life! Now, I am not asking for hip issues, I already have enough going on with my new knee but you get my point.

Is it really Monday?? Where did the weekend go??

In my Bible study called Believing God by Beth Moore, we are going through Hebrews 11 and looking at the “Hall of Faith.” I have always loved Rahab because, she, like me, is a bad girl gone good. I love how God can take a prostitute and redeem and restore her and then have the story end with her name in the lineage of the Savior of the world! How awesome is that!

As I was reading over the story of Joshua getting ready to take Jericho, I found myself pondering this prostitute. I have always focused on the Israelites and all the walking around the walls and trumpet playing, not really on her. A few things stuck out to me.
When she talked to the spies and hid them, she told them she had heard about what God had done for the Israelites and made them swear that they would not destroy her family when they conquered Jericho. That is an important thing to note. She had to first of all hear about God. This is the very reason that I share my testimony. People need to hear about our awesome God and what He has done in our lives. They are seeds that we need to continually plant in people’s lives.
Another cool thing was the scarlet rope that Rahab had let down out of her window to let the spies out. They told her that if she left it in the window, the Israelites would see it and not destroy her or her family if they were inside. Don’t miss the significance of the color red. The same color as the Lamb’s blood that God told Moses to paint on the doorposts that the death angel would pass over. Israelite and prostitute, saved by the same blood!
I love how it ends. In Joshua 6:25, it states, “and she lives among the Israelites to this day.”
It is so amazing to me that Jesus not only redeems and restores, he gives back dignity and grace. I wonder what the Israelites thought about Rahab after she was spared. Did they look at her and see a woman changed by her Creator? Did they see a woman who once walked in shame and with her head down now looking up? I can imagine the stories she shared with anyone who would listen!
I can remember back to a time when I was so filled with shame about my past and I can say that I know what this woman felt like on the inside. To think that I would one day share with all the world my horrible, sinful past for the ultimate purpose to bring glory to God and what He can do with a life is an honor!

Why do you look for the living among the dead? Indeed, He is risen! Hallelujah!

I woke up this morning thinking back to the day I came to know, trust and believe in Jesus. It was July 14 2001. I will never forget the day as long as I live. I woke up so sick and hungover from partying the night before. I was tired. Tired of being hungover all the time. Tired of being depressed all the time. Tired of thinking of ways to try to kill myself. Tired of the shame that comes from living a hedonistic lifestyle. Tired of being angry. Tired of everything that my life stood for.
I asked myself several questions, as I lay there in a pool of my own vomit. “If I died right now, this very moment, would anyone notice that I was gone? Would anyone even care? Who would find me? How would my family feel? More shame at the black sheep than they already felt towards me?”
These questions had haunted me for years. I now know the truth. That day my life was changed. I was transformed. I became a new creation.
To read my full testimony, click here.
I am a life that was radically changed by the Cross. I am proof that Jesus lives. I am proof that He loves sinners. I am proof that He came for the sick. I am proof that He raises the dead. I am proof that the old is gone and the new is here!
I am proof that He is risen!

I woke up this morning feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning. This is the time of the year when people flock to churches and I have been praying like crazy for revival!
All around the globe, people will be watching plays and productions about what Christ came to do for us. How cool is that? It doesn’t matter what denomination you are affiliated with. This is one of the few times the Church really acts like the Church. Our only agenda is that the truth about Christ’s life, death and resurrection is going out into all the earth.
At my church, we will have 7 presentations. Last year I think we had about 12,000 people come through our doors. We had 700 committments to Christ! I know it’s not about numbers but if this is just one church, can you imagine what is going on around the world? Millions of people are praying and fasting for the lost. I picture every nation, tribe and tongue! Kind of sounds like heaven, doesn’t it?
For the next several days lives will be forever changed. Chains will be broken, the addicted will be set free, the lonely will never again be alone, hearts will be mended, the afflicted will be healed, lives will be redeemed and restored. The list goes on and on. Pray. Pray like never before. Pray that the message of Christ’s redemption will resound through all the earth. Pray for your church. Pray for THE Church. Pray for those of us on staff at our churches. Pray for all the people involved in all the plays. Pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit that hasn’t been equaled since Pentecost!

Massive, United Fasting and Prayer Can Shift a Nation…
On 07.07.07, tens of thousands from across America will gather in Nashville to fast, pray and cry out to God for another Great Awakening!
It’s time for a new generation to step forward and return to the Lord and to renew our covenant vows of love with Him.

I am so excited! In July I will be going to Nashville, Tennesee for a really cool day of fasting, prayer and worship. Click here to check it out. I will be driving a few youngins and we are going to have a blast! It will be about 10 1/2 hours in the car with teeny boppers so I will need lots of prayer!

I was reading in 2 Chronicles 20-30 this morning about King Jehoshaphat. The Moabites and Ammonites came to wage war on him. He immediately consulted the Lord and proclaimed a fast for all of Judah. All the people stood before the Lord seeking Him. The Spirit of the Lord came upon a man named Jahaziel and he stood up in front of everyone and said, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” Oh how often we forget that! We think we are fighting on our own! We don’t fight with the weapons of this world! 2 Corinthians 10:4 says our weapons have divine power!
After Jehaziel gave them the Word from the Lord, listen to what the king and all the people did in verse 18, “Jehoshaphat bowed with his face to the ground and all the people of Judah and Jerusalem fell down in worship before the Lord.”
Fell down in worship, I had to chew on that one for awhile. When was the last time I was on my face before God? Not begging to be freed from something, not begging Him to give me something, simply worshipping Him for who He is!
Anyways, I just love how God fights the battle for them, it’s almost comical. I can picture the whole scene before my eyes and it makes me smile.
“Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise Him for the splendor of His holiness as they went out at the head of the army saying, ‘Give thanks to the Lord for His love endures forever.’ As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and they were defeated.”
Can you imagine the scene? The Moabites and Ammonites, ready for battle with their swords drawn, were probably thinking to themselves, “are you kidding me? are they singing?” I can hear Michael W. Smith singing the song in my head, by the grace of God we will carry on, His love endures forever, sing praise, sing praise!
I love how God goes before us and fights our battles for us. I love how He does the extraordinary to increase our faith in Him. How do you think the Israelites felt after this incredible victory was won by singing? Most importantly, how do you think the ememies of the Israelites felt knowing that their God had delivered His people with a song? We see how they felt in verse 29, “the fear of God came upon all the kingdoms… and the kingdom of Jehoshaphat was at peace.”
Amen and amen!

As I sit here having a cup of coffee with Jesus this morning, I realized that I have been doing all the talking. I read my Bible aloud and prayed and was just yacking away and it dawned on me (I’m smart like that) that I hadn’t asked Him what He was thinking. I am really trying to focus on what He wants to tell me instead of me telling Him what I want or how my day should go. Imagine that, me telling the Creator of the universe how to plan my day! As if!!
Anyways, today I will stop throughout my day and ask Him what He thinks. I want to draw near to Him so He will draw near to me. I want to be able to hear His small voice speak to me. I want to sense His presense like never before.
I was just reminded of the time when Elijah was hiding in the cave after he killed all the prophets of Baal. God came to him and told him to go stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord because the Lord was about to pass by. I think I would just drop dead if that happened to me! The Lord then sends a powerful wind that shattered the rocks but He was not in it. He then sent an earthquake but He was not in that either. Next came a fire but He was not there either. Then, I love this part, came a gentle whisper. God spoke to Elijah in a whisper. I think of the many missed opportunities to commune with God because I was looking for something extraordinary to happen when all along He is whispering.
Lord today, help me to be so in tune with You that I hear Your whispers. I don’t want to miss anything you have to say me today.

What a great day I had today and it ain’t even over yet! For the first time in a very long time, I had no where to go and no responsibilities to take care of. Boy, so this is what the Sabbath is all about! If we all took them like God commanded us to, I think we would have a lot less stress, a lot less grey hair (I am still quite traumatized over the 2 I found last week) and a lot less aggravation and frustrations.
I had an awesome study time this morning, me and Beth Moore hanging out and working on our Believing God Bible study she wrote. This has been the best study I have ever done. I feel so fired up about my faith (I know, you’re thinking MORE fired up, is it possible?!?!?). Yes! It is possible. I have been praying for a hunger for God’s Word that is insatiable and that He would show me His glory and it is happening. I am almost dizzy from getting myself so worked up in His Word. Ain’t life grand?
Anyways, I had praise music on all day as I was cleaning and for some reason I was really listening to the words of the songs. I know them all and I sing when they are on the radio but I was really struck today by Jeremy Riddle’s words in his song Sweetly Broken. To be so lost in love with Jesus.

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink, Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love And God is just

Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me, You draw me gently
to my knees and I am Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life And I was under
Your wrath Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus:
In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love
andHow great is Your faithfulness